Fantasy Revenge

In my ideal scenario, I am the heroine. I get my just deserts. I punish the man.

In my less than ideal scenario but fantasy nonetheless, I smash the windows and slash the tyres of his car. That would be satisfying I think. Immature but satisfying.

I know women who bake dog shit into cakes for him, stir his toothbrush round and round the toilet bowl and sabotage his career a-la-"Addicted to Love" or "The First Wives Club". 

But in reality, I'm likely to stay around and to let him pummel me. Either I walk around and act like an open, desperate wound or I retreat so far into myself that I am unrecognisable. Our love like all gifts is our Achilles' heel. 

But the car destruction sounds good :)

That's the liberty of art, the ability to play God, to orchestrate fate and to exact just deserts and in so doing present a point, a reason for showing the world otherwise.

ink me

I like ink. I even like scarring. I consider them art. But preferably more than just art; identity, (heritage and culture) too.

It's funny to think of how they progressed from something more true to something more commercial, mass market and cheap.

I don't have a tattoo myself but if I did, everything about it, would say; me.

Easy Virtue

Freedom is a common theme in art, whether from the reigns of society or from our own personal bondage.

A woman's freedom is my story and two films speak to me on this; Subira (2008) a short film by Ravneet Chadha and Easy Virtue (2008) starring Jessica Biel, Ben Barnes, Kristin Scott Thomas and Colin Firth.

They label the heroine, naughty or avante-garde for being how men can freely be.

Easy Virtue however was able to explore more issues, being a full-feature film. It touched on the ghosts of soldier survivors, the loss or capture of youth in marriage, the absoluteness of love. I like these themes. They aren't so common. But they are just as pertinent.

On freedom, maybe it is the quest for it that allows us to find ourselves, allows us to taste in the end the satisfaction of our toil. The greater the struggle, the more glorious the triumph, they say. Maybe there could be no other way. Maybe there should have always been another way.

what it means to be free, one poet put it, what it really means to be free, is to be me.

But even freedom isn't absolute. And wars are won and lost. So if women are to triumph, pray, what would have been lost?