I think I died sometime last year. And then I just kept on drifting...
I am often described as "quiet" and people are always surprised the first time they see me dance or the first time they have a real conversation with me...
But this death I talk of, my death marked the difference between dead and "quiet". Because I said Nothing. I said Nothing because I thought Nothing. I thought Nothing because I read Nothing and did Nothing and almost began to want Nothing and so I became Nothing. I
was Nothing and so contributed Nothing to conferences and socials...
until today.
This one woman snapped me out of it (albeit rudely);
why don't you say something instead of sitting there like a doorpost. Or don't you have an opinion? Or was it
I that had been rude for not saying anything? Is Apathy a sin?
She broke all barriers this woman by questioning why we even thought that there were any boundaries. Why we were satisfied by not asking more questions. Why we spoke of intentions and not experiences.
She (now referred to as
A) believed we were all responsible. He (now referred to as
B) believed that those with more advantage were more responsible. That a man was guilty for his intent not to act especially if he had an advantage (intelligence, wealth, position of power).
A thinks that, that expectation is not fair, "facile" even. And then she ended the debate, before I get agitated, she said (euphemism for violent, I think).
Whether
A or
B is right or fair, she had a point and she woke me up. And I am encouraged to be the activist that I was. And to think as bravely as I have. And so I hereby announce that I have officially been Resurrected :)
